**Alert, it's confession time here at This is How it Feels, and you may look at T!nK in a whole new light once you are through.**
Have you ever seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You? While it may be an exaggerated look at the world of dating and romance, it's definitely a must-see. It teaches a valuable lesson about the black-and-whites of romance.
I digress.
Do you remember that scene where Bradley Cooper's character (Ben) tells Jennifer "Eyebrows" Connelly's character (Janine) that he had been having an affair.... in the middle of Home Depot?
No? fast forward to 2:04.
That look on her face? If you've EVER been cheated on, you know exactly what eyebrows is feeling in this clip. That swift punch in the gut that simultaneously knocks the wind out of you, making it impossible to breathe, and completely turns your world on its ass. I've been there.
I've also been the cause.
I know, you thought I was perfect.
Aside from the cheating I have done in the past (yes, I have cheated), I have been the other... umm... woman. I am not proud of either of these, but it's the truth. I will make no excuses, but I will admit that I was wrong.
And this whole breakup has hit that lesson home like nothing else could.
I've had to come to terms with the fact that the feeling I felt the morning Trent told me he cheated, is a feeling I've caused in others.
Karma really is the biggest bitch I know (she wears dark lipliner, hoop earrings with her name inscribed, and will KICK the ever loving shit out of you).
Nothing EVER makes that okay. It doesn't matter if the relationship is on the verge of ending, and all the couple in question does it fight all the time. It is NEVER okay to cheat, or to sleep with someone in a relationship. That's the black and white of it.
So let me be your Alex today.
Ladies, gentleman: If you are seeing someone who is in a relationship, that makes you JUST as guilty as they are. That makes you a whore. Yes, I said it. He is NOT going to leave his wife for you, if he was going to leave her, he would have done so already. Drop him like Britney dropped Jayden... or Sean... whatever.
If you are being the other, it is because you don't truly believe you are worthy of being the main squeeze. You have sold yourself short and settled for being someone's side dish, because deep down, you don't have any self esteem.
So, in conclusion. Being the "other".. umm... whatever, is neither new age, modern, or provocative. You are just a whore and deserve to burn in hell just like the person who cheated.
Put that in your formspring and smoke it.
If you are being the other, it is because you don't truly believe you are worthy of being the main squeeze. You have sold yourself short and settled for being someone's side dish, because deep down, you don't have any self esteem.
So, in conclusion. Being the "other".. umm... whatever, is neither new age, modern, or provocative. You are just a whore and deserve to burn in hell just like the person who cheated.
Put that in your formspring and smoke it.
wow....everytime I stop by you have the blog looking so good ;0
ReplyDeleteok I was the other for 10yrs...yes 10yrs. It is thew one thing I am most ashamed of...it hurt me, him, her...everybody suffered..and guess what? Im still alone.
I think cheating is way too romanticized in pop-culture, literature, politics, etc. Thanks for talking about this. I've been in a monogomous relationship for over 15 years. I can't imagine hurting someone I love like that or what it wold feel like being the one duped. - G
ReplyDeletePost Perfection.
ReplyDeleteAs.
Usual.
I've been the other.
I'm still trying to dig myself out of that hole.
Lowest point in my life... and for what??
I agree with everything you have said my friend.
And I LOVE He's Just Not That Into You because it is dramafied but really quite accurate!
Thanks for your input everyone! <3
ReplyDeleteP.S. Thank you guys for not judging me! You all rock!
ReplyDeleteI was almost an "other." But I stopped myself before I made any serious mistakes. But I still feel horrible for almost doing. What was I thinking?
ReplyDeleteSo, I know you think your bloggy mommy is perfect but...
ReplyDeleteI had a bed buddy once and was pissed off that another woman was trying to play in my sand box. He and I talked about it; I told him I don't play well with others when it comes to relationships - especially if it was bed buddy stuff.
Turns out, I was the one playing in her sand box. Oops.
BTW, I missed you!
ReplyDeleteAmazing Nate!!!! I remember having this convo with you in our cars as we cruised around east bumble fuck...oops, I mean Newburgh and Marlboro ;-)
ReplyDeleteNo but really, this is an excellent post sweety!
How can you condemn someone as a whore and tell them to go burn in hell if you've done this to someone, if you yourself were involved in situation that you were put in. You just think its worse because you were the one cheated on. And how about if the third party didn't even know about you. Who's fault is it then? Pointing fingers and spitting out nasty words is not the way to deal with an ugly situation like this. It just sends out negative energy for no reason and personally makes you look resentful.
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous - I call a spade a spade. If you can read, you will see that I admitted to causing that feeling in another person. I admitted that I WAS WRONG. So if I'm pointing fingers, it's at myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, of course if you don't know the other person is in a relationship than that's the exception to this rule. But that's not what I am talking about.
Sp please, take your douchebaggery and go fuck yourself. kthnksbye